There's a notable concept in the area of self-help that a wonderful friend of mine recently reminded me of. I had posted a Facebook status about me being "in some pretty uncomfortable territory at the moment," to which she commented "uncomfortable = growth."
Ah, this is so true, isn't it? It's virtually impossible to travel to a place of personal betterment without passing through a valley of discomfort. I know this not only from my own personal experiences, but also from seeing friends and family traverse this same painful path.
Change is difficult, there is no doubt. We all seem so programmed to just be comfortable with what is, even when it brings us pain. In an old Pink Floyd song called "Wish You Were Here" the writer asks the main subject of the song whether he had exchanged "cold comfort for change." Cold comfort. Wow. Such profound words. Because that's exactly where we can be left when we resist necessary change. In a state of cold comfort.
I've been thru a few periods of cold comfort in my own lifetime. Sometimes, it's simply been what we would call a rut, and in those cases, it was fairly easy to redirect myself and get back on a moving track. But lately, I have realized that I've been in a sustained period of cold comfort, and knew that it was time to for something dramatic. Dramatic, but courageous. And so it is that I sit here tonight, having taken a purposeful action that will hopefully end the drama I have been experiencing of late. And the cold comfort.
More and more, as my own self-awareness strengthens, I observe that just about everybody is walking around in this state of somnambulance, and is wishing that they could create change for themselves.
But they don't.
Why? Because change takes courage, and we don't always have the courage to cross the bridge to the unfamiliar (read "uncomfortable") territory that lies on the other side. Change as depicted by crossing a bridge. Yes.....
There are famous bridges all over the country, and also the world. But there is one that has recently taken on special meaning for me. It is a bridge in New York City's Central Park called the Gapstow Bridge, but it is more familiarly called the "Love Bridge." Apparently there have been many marriage proposals made on this bridge, leading to its informal moniker. But as I look at this particular bridge, I see it in higher terms, and as a metaphor for so much more. The bridge represents a dividing line between what is and what can be, if one has the courage to put their foot on the bridge and take the first step.
I am a runner, as many of you know, and in running long races like marathons, there is a saying that goes something like "Courage is not what it takes to finish the race. Courage is what it takes to step up to the starting line."
I have just stepped up to that starting line, folks. Please wish me luck, and in return, I will send you back lots and lots of love and rewards. <3
12 comments:
I have been on the other side afraid to cross the bridge, afraid to leave behind what puts me in the uncomfortable territory or what makes the territory uncomfortable.
You are right, it takes courage to step on the bridge that moves you in a new direction, a better direction.
Good luck, my friend. See you when you get to this side.
Remember however that while growth can be uncomfortable, discomfort does not always imply growth. At times the discomfort is a stone in the shoe you have to stop and toss out.
More often than not however, the bridges in my life separate what was, with what never can be again. The bridge I am crossing is long and narrow, and I can hear the growling hounds of hell in the mist of the distant shore.
Better float idly through life and drift off to oblivion in comfort, then to lurch awake to find ones self choking to death on the vomit of a wasted life, and realize for that brief eternity of pain, that all is despair, that there is no salvation, no hope, no help, no do-over.
i am alone...
JBT - I know, it is intensely hard to take steps in a new direction. The key, I have learned, is not to be attached to the past. The past is not who you are. It is only what you were.
Anonymous - you're right, oft times we make change simply because we must. Because the pain of staying where we are is greater than we can bear, and the pain of the unknown (or as you said - oblivion) seems much less severe.
Your words and thoughts are fantastic. If you're not a writer, you should be.
But I should also add that, in response to your final remark, we are never alone. We are only alone if we discount our own selves. If we have self-love, it isn't possible to be lonely
I have had to face many challenges in my life. I somehow always manage to get across the bridge to a new place, not always better but different. I am now crawling across and am slowly preparing myself for what is on the other side.
"Cold comfort" can be a desperate place when one believes he/she is trapped there. Sometimes, in some cases, we are trapped. Sad. But in those ways we're not, it's thrilling to take those first tentative steps toward change. New starts always lead somewhere. Life is all about moving.
Good luck on the bridge you're about to cross.
Ananji
Parveen - you are doing, and will continue to do, just fine with your various bridge crossings.
Ananji - "Life is all about moving." Yes, and as runners, we know this better than most people. Movement is essential to life. But sometimes, we simply have to move in order to get out of harms way.
Sometimes we have to reach a bottom of sorts before we become willing to make a change. I know that is the case for me. Courage is, indeed, required to face discomfort and bring ourselves to run in the right race. Good luck to you on your journey.
Thanks, Monkey Man. Being in the right race is an interesting way of thinking about it. Or maybe its not that we need to change the race, but at the very least, we might need to shift lanes.
I liked this post! I love that you stated that people don't typically like getting uncomfortable. I think that's true on so many levels and for me, it hit many levels of my life because of my anxiety about doing something or fearing the unknown, because that's just it: I'm just uncomfortable doing it.
Hopefully you'll find that happy medium. Just as the bad times in our lives help us to learn, I also agree with you that the uncomfortableness helps us to grow.
I needed to read this today! Thanks!
Deb - I think (no, I KNOW) that change is inevitable, and that if we resist it (and give in to the cold comfort), we forfeit many wonderful opportunities that the Universe presents to us.
May you and I, and all the rest of the world, have the courage to lower our resistance.
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