One of life's eternal questions, and one that is usually put to us rather than being one that we routinely ask of others, is "Are you happy?" Naturally we all are inclined to answer 'yes' when asked this question. Because it's what we want - to be happy. So even if we're not truly happy, even if the undercurrent in our soul is one of unhappiness, we almost always tell others that we are....
So how do we know if we're truly the happy person that we're so reflexively inclined to tell others that we are? Well, that's a hard one. There are many books dedicated to this form of self-evaluation, and many a professional analyst who makes a fairly comfortable living from working with people to help them find happiness. The reason that there is so much discussion about happiness is because, like so many other things in this world, it is not a black and white subject. What makes one person happy might do just the opposite for the next person. And happiness is gauged upon many interrelated behaviors and responses to external input. A complex animal, this happiness thing.
So with finding happiness not being a simple thing, it is even harder for one to determine whether they are happy or not. Or is it?
While walking down the street toward my office this morning, I smiled at a tall, 50-something woman with scragly hair who was passing by me going in the other direction. She made eye contact with me, but she didn't smile back. But it was no matter whether she did or she didnt - it was this interaction that brought something important to mind for me. It's so very simple. When we're happy, we smile. :) It's a natural physical reaction to an underlying emotional state, and perhaps the perfect barometer to what's going on inside us.
I've been told by many people that I smile a lot. I like that. It means that I am putting out a picture of happiness, and also that I don't have to constantly question myself about whether I'm truly happy or not. I'll know that if I stop smiling, and people tell me so, that I'll have some self-evaluation to do. But as long as I can look in the mirror and see myself smile, I'll know that my soul is in good care. At the moment, it is. :) I hope yours is too..... :) :)
10 comments:
I can smile for different reasons even when I am not happy.
I like to get to know the person "behind the smile". Eyes seldom hide what smiles do. But in any event, it is nice to see someone smile. ;)
Yes JBT, there are different kinds of smiles (see article at end of this comment). One of the two basic kinds of smiles is the social smile, and this one is most likely NOT a window to the soul. The other primary type is the genuine smile, and it is this one - I believe - that hides nothing.
Here's the article that I came across today:
"There are two types of smiles, according to Finnish researchers Dr. Jari Hietanen of the University of Tampere and Dr. Veikko Surakka of the Institute of Biomedicine at the University of Helsinki. One smile category is known to experts as social smiles. These are prompted merely by a sense of obligation and involve only the muscles of the cheeks. Genuine smiles, on the other hand, express real feelings of pleasure and activate not only the muscles of the cheeks but also the muscles around the eyes. A recent study from Finland suggests that genuine smiles are contagious. By detecting and recording minute muscle movements, researchers found that the subjects of their experiment were induced to smile merely by looking at a photograph of someone with a genuine smile. This reaction was not observed when the subjects looked at pictures of people displaying social smiles."
And just to include a finishing thought here, I'm not saying that just because a person smiles it means that they're happy. But if someone is walking around smiling most of the time, and other people notice, then I would assert that this is undoubtedly a happy person.
that is a good assumption
Hey Todd, I'm genuinely smiling today!
That's great, Parveen. :)
Saw a comment you made on Let Me Go On and On and it drove me to your blog. Thank you I like it when people make me think. I will be back.
Thanks, and keep on thinking, Monkey Man. I'll vow to do the same. :)
It's tricky, isn't it? I mean, people who are depressed can hide behind their smiles. I know for myself, personally, I will put on a "happy face" just so I don't put others in a bad mood. Is it acting or is it merely just trying to "fake it till' you make it" type of attitude? But, I do agree that there are examples, like the story you wrote in this post that people's true happiness does reveal itself, especially with strangers. You'll see the true mood... but with other people it's hard.
I heard someone say the other day, "If you're not happy in an apartment, you'll never be happy in a house." I'm not sure if this applies to your post, but if someone is always unhappy - no money or anything materialistic will get them to that place.
It's nice seeing you smile! :)
Yes Deb, it's tricky. And yet it's not. The "genuine smile" that is described in the comment I made above to JBT is an open channel to the heart and soul, whereas the "social smile" (and other cousins of same) is a cover-up.
And to your remark about the apt vs. house, yes, I believe that to be true. Because happiness does not derive from anything external. It comes completely from within.
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